


In Good Times and Bad

by siephilde42



Series: Siephilde's Rainbow Wings [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Don't copy to another site, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Supportive Castiel (Supernatural), Trigger warning for drug addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siephilde42/pseuds/siephilde42
Summary: Dean calls Cas from a bar, having relapsed. Cas picks him up and drives him home, and they talk.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Siephilde's Rainbow Wings [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028029
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	In Good Times and Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Because it is not all sunshine. 
> 
> Please mind the tags. I have no real-life experience with situations like those, which means my view here is romanticised.

"Can you pick me up?", he hears from the other side of the line. It is Dean's voice, sounding ashamed. Very ashamed. And slurred.

Cas takes a deep breath before he answers and tries to not let his concern show in his tone. "Where are you?", he asks, his tone soft.

"I... I'm in a bar not far from here. The one where the road joins the highway. Could... could you just come over here?"

"Of course. Be there in a few", Cas replies, hanging up and calling the taxi provider.

"It, it was just stupid", Dean whispers later, sitting in the front seat. "My last client offered a finger of whiskey to me, and I..." He scoffs. "I thought I could handle it. Then, on the way home, I saw the bar and..." He goes quiet, not saying anything more for the rest of the drive.

Cas considers saying something, but decides he should better wait until home.

"I'm so sorry", Dean blurts out when they cross the door.

"What for?"

" _What for?_ ", Dean throws up his arms, voice angry. In his eyes, tears are glistening. "I, I failed. I failed you."

Cas drops the house keys on the table, turning to face Dean and to put his arms on Dean's shoulders. "Dean, _no._ "

"I frigging failed you", Dean repeats, getting worked up.

Cas' tone is calm but firm when he speaks again. "You did not fail anyone."

At this, Dean looks away, towards the floor, a telltale sign that he is in the process of closing up, of shutting away his emotions.

Gently, Cas increases the pressure of his hands around Dean's shoulders a little bit to get his attention. "Dean. Listen to me. Addiction is not something which disappears overnight. Unless I am wrong, it is something which, in some ways, never goes away entirely. And you are _trying._ "

Dean is still avoiding eye contact. "I don't know if I can ever get away from it", he brings out, sobbing. "I just don't know."

"Dean", Cas says, softly. "The whole point of stopping drinking is to make your life healthier and hopefully more happier. Maybe make it last a little longer than it would otherwise. You're not doing it for me." He pauses, choosing his next words carefully. "Of course, I would be happiest if you managed to stay away from it. I am proud of you for trying. ... But Dean, this way of thought, that you disappoint me every time you relapse, this is not going to help. ... That you are making mistakes, that you have weaknesses, this does not make you any less worthy of love." He lets his hands slide down from Dean's shoulders, reaching for his hands instead. "I love you either way, you know that?"

At this, Dean finally looks up, meeting his eyes. "I... I do. Of course I do", he says, exhales.

The faintest hint of a smile creeps over Cas' face. "So you fall. So you get up and try again. And again. Regardless of how that goes, I will be here."

"I love you", Dean blurts out. "I love you so frigging much, you know that?"

"I do, Dean", Cas replies, pulling Dean into an embrace and holding him tightly.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to scream over Destiel, Saileen or the show in general with me, you can follow me under @loves_deancas on Twitter. (My other Twitter account @siephilde42 is mainly for Good-Omens related content.)


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